i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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