She announced her abortion via fbk
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
