He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
