69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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