Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
