Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
