I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
the raccoons are back...
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