My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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