How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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