But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
