hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
