Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
