if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
