It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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