Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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