I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
