Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
