I'm gonna have a badass scar
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm both gender and math confused
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
