before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You took a bar mat shot.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
