I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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