yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
