How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
