I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
