if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
