so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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