"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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