Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
