No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
