honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
