Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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