Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
