Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm both gender and math confused
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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