Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
