Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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