that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize