I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
