i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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