Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
