We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
