party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
