Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
