I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
