I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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