I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
