um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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