Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
