don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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