Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
