It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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