so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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