i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
