why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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