So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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