white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
