??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
