We should be called the Road Head Warriors
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
