5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
